Yes, I am different than I used to be. It's called growing up. Something you obviously haven't done yet because you can't seem to figure out that you're setting yourself up for failure as we speak. You complain that you don't have enough money to eat/buy medication and yet you have fifteen cats and you're talking about having a baby. What kind of life can you give a baby if you can't even afford to feed yourself?! Are you going to stop taking your medication and bring it up while you're having serious mental breakdowns? What the fuck is wrong with you? Catch a clue.